Foot + Toot + L = Flootoot

just fyi,
my friend said her piece wasnt the same without the WHOLE thing
so here it is
the WHOLE car dilemma:

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THE CAR DILEMNA

Have you ever thought about where you sit in a car? Most of you have traveled in a five
passenger vehicle. Most of you have traveled in one alone, with just one other person, the
driver.When a person you don't like is driving in the car with only you, seat choice is crucial.

THE FRONT SEAT

The front seat is the seat to be avoided at all times. With the closest proximity, unwanted
direct contact is available, and it is difficult to act as if you are listening to his or
her tirade if he or she can see your face. Only sit here when absolutely necessary. Those
who choose to sit here out of their own free will are choosing driver-passenger relationship suicide. The FS is only for those with strong wills and steel nerves, or for those without a brain at all.

THE RIGHT HAND SEAT

The right hand seat is a relatively good spot to pick. Of course, in such a small enclosed
space like a car, not getting in is the best option. However, seeing as this option does not
often present itself, the right hand seat is preferrable to some. It is the seat furthest
away from the offending driver, and offers a good place to rest and turn your head away.
However, this seemingly perfect seat has its downfalls too. The driver can see with with
just a slight turn of his or her head, and the driver can always see you in the mirror.
Peripheral vision is their weapon here. Therefore, you still have to act like you're
listening to the speech you've memorized by heart. The RHS is a good seat to pick if you're
someone who needs personal space when you're angry.

THE LEFT HAND SEAT

The left hand seat in the car does not seem like a good place to sit. It makes a very bad
first impression. This seat is located right behind the driver, so close you have to resist
the urge to give the chair in front of you a swift kick to irritate the driver. If the
temptation is too great and you succumb, another interminable speech will begin. However
there is a very clear silver lining to this seat. The driver cannot see you. No matter how
much he or she twists and turns and tries to peer out the corner of his or her eyes, the
driver will not be able to see your face. This presents a very clear advantage in your favor
because you can literally fall asleep while the babble on about something annoyingly
unimportant. The LHS is a good seat to pick if you're someone who likes to hide your face
from the attacker when theyre angry.

THE MIDDLE SEAT

Aah, the middle seat. After the front seat, this is possibly the worst one to pick. This
seat leaves you vulnerable, with nowhere to rest your head. Your arms dangle at your sides, and you could be drawn to wring them. This could be taken as a nervous gesture, provoking your driver to continue their belittling monologue. The driver can see you clearly, with no head rests in the way, and this allows them to pin down all the tiny things wrong with your physical appearance. Other than the uncomfortable positioning and the open area, the MS often has either an elevated bump or a fixed container budging into it. This causes mass discomfort when you are trying to put your legs somewhere. The MS is for people who don't know better and feel the need to put their bodies into awkward positions.

THE TRUNK

This is an enclosed space in which most people put luggage and other large items. However, if you choose to fold yourself into the trunk to avoid the driver, it is understandable. This choice is only for those who do not have any existing medical problems or claustrophobia. This space is for those who feel the need to be seperated by the driver, and cannot stand to be in the same enclosed space. The trunk also muffles the sound of his or her voice, giving it a less harsh tone. Please choose this spot responsibly. Know your limits.

There you have it, all the seats in a 5 passenger vehicle (save for the driver), analyzed
and compared. Hopefully now you will be more careful the next time you step into the car
with your least favourite person as the driver, and you will choose the spot most fitted for
you. Do not dismiss this information as unuseful or silly, because the seat you choose will
determine your life for the next 5 minutes or longer. If it's less than 5 minutes, you need
to take a lesson from my good friend Melody. Save the Earth. Walk.

-B


(c) copyright Berne C cause she's anal like that